I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
birth control should be required to get into college
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize