it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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