She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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