I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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