Having a random hookup so left but love u
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I have already put on my inside pants.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
