i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
