so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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