I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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