: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize