Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize