People with herpes should wear stickers.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
