Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
