It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
