i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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