look no pants
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I just forgot I was standing up.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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