Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Randomize
