Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
