Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
