I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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