what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
