people are starting to question the shark bite story
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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