HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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