yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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