I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
