Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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