I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
