I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
