there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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