He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
