Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
You pole danced in your parka.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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