whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize