I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
