we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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