"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
