So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
