adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
