i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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