Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
