Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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