Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
