do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
