I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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