i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
