I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
