I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
