Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
