I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I stole a fireplace last night.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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