I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize