So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
