Sry I called you an 8
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
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