wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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