I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
