He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
She's the barista slut.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
