weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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