God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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