Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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