No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
