i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
