did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
