I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
